Princess Unaware

By Brenda Garrison

chapter one

Crawling Out of the Mud Hole

The Princess Recognizes the Traps and Snares

I hate icebreaker games, wedding shower games, and baby shower games. One game I especially don’t like is the describe-yourself-in-three-words game. I resent the insinuation that I can be summed up in three words. You too are a deep and complicated person, so three words will hardly help us really get to know each other. However, if I had to choose three words to describe myself, I would choose enthusiastic, inquisitive, and passionate.

Did I win the prize? Enthusiastic. Inquisitive. Passionate. These words drive me to live my life with purpose. Knowing that these words describe me will help you understand why I wrote this book and why I am excited that you are reading it!

Enthusiastic. I get excited about doing life well and the fabulous things that happen along the way, whether talking with another woman for five minutes and feeling like we’ve known each other for years, or celebrating with a dear friend who has achieved her dream after years of preparation and work.

Inquisitive. I want to know the source of information. (It’s not that I don’t trust you; I just need to know how you know.) I ask questions. How can I make a difference? What was I made to do? How can I enjoy life? How can I do life so as not to have all this guilt and frustration?

Passionate. What excites me in life, I am passionate about. Why spend time and emotion and energy on something if I’m not passionate about it?

Since we started the game, let’s finish it. What three words would you use to describe yourself? How do those adjectives reflect the way you live? Are those words getting you to a place of fulfillment, or is something missing? If the adjectives you used are full of despair, guilt, and fear . . . or apathy, carelessness, and passiveness, I want to ignite your life with the truth and hope befitting a princess, because if you know Jesus, you’re a child of the King! And if you don’t know Jesus (or even about Jesus), keep reading and I’ll introduce you.

For much of my life, I was on a quest for something to make my enthusiasm count, to answer my questions, to be worthy of my passion. I kept hearing I was a princess of the King, but I couldn’t find my crown, much less keep it on my head. I searched in places that appeared to have what I was looking for—relationships, church, Bible studies, ministry, at-home businesses, doing all the right things. Somehow I kept missing it—the umph, the fabulous that I knew would be worthy of my enthusiasm, inquisitiveness, and passion.

But I did eventually find answers to my questions. God brought to me his truth that was so applicable. His answers made sense, and they made sense together. Throughout this book, I’ll share with you the answers I found and how I know they are true and right. But first let’s read about another young woman on a journey for answers. She’s a lot like I was. She might be like you today.

The Journey of a Princess Unaware

The time had come. Jess’s packed satchel sat by the front door. She came from her room, dressed for the big expedition.

“Mother, I’m ready.”

“I hope so,” Mother murmured, swallowing hard to hold back tears.

“What?” Jess asked, fingering the jeweled gold crest she wore around her neck. It was almost a part of her; she couldn’t remember ever not wearing it.

“I know you’re ready,” Mother answered tentatively. But her eyes revealed doubt.

Mother and Father had been preparing Jess for this moment since she was a small child. Jess had known her time with Mother and Father was limited and that when she turned eighteen, they must send her to the castle in the Faraway Land. 

“Mother, now that I am leaving, I must ask you . . . why have you and Father always called me Princess?”

“You will find out soon enough, dear.”

“But where is the castle, and how do I get there?”

“Princess,” Father said as he joined them, “remember the signs I taught you. Follow Polaris north until you see the mountains. Then turn west until you reach the Forest of Amusements. Go around it and continue west. Beware of Pit Weasels, of Glittering Greens and Scaly Reds,” he warned.

Jess gasped. “What are those?!”

“You must see them for yourself,” he said simply.

Her mother nodded, biting her lip worriedly.

“And take this,” Father said as he handed her a well-worn book.

“But Father, this is the book you have taught me from since I was a little girl. I can’t understand it without you.”

“Yes, you can. I have taught you everything I know from the book, and you have learned well. Use what you have learned on your journey.” Father put the book into the side pocket of Jess’s satchel, turning away to hide his damp eyes.

“But how far is it? How will I know if I get off course? Will anyone at the castle be expecting me? What will I do there?” Jess had always trusted Mother and Father about the big expedition, but now she needed answers.

“I’m sorry. I’ve told you all I can. Now it’s time for you to leave,” urged her father.

Jess hugged and kissed Mother and Father, picked up her satchel, and walked out of the house and down the lane. She turned and headed north, resolving not to let anything stop her from arriving at her destination.

Her day was uneventful. The sky was blue, the breeze gentle, the forest calm and dark. She found herself saying out loud, “Why, this journey is not difficult at all! What a pleasant stroll I will have to the castle in the Faraway Land.”

Scarcely had she spoken when . . . she rounded a bend and spotted a pack of strange creatures in the road. They were small and dark, furry, bustling things—with huge heads, long thin tails, and sharp little teeth and claws. Some were digging in the road; others were dragging brush from the forest with their teeth, scattering it over the holes, and covering the holes with dry grass and dirt.

They’re setting a trap for travelers, she realized, to trip them unawares and leave them to die . . . or worse, to devour them!

“Pit Weasels!” she cried. The creatures stopped in unison, stood on their hind legs, and looked at her, their eyes gleaming maliciously. “Go away!” she yelled. She swung her satchel in wide circles, as if she were going to hurl it at them. “Get out of my way!”  They darted into the dark forest. Jess hurried past, keeping her eyes on the path.

That night she camped under a grove of evergreens. Before the fire went out, she tried to read some of the book Father gave her. Maybe this will help take my mind off those dreadful Pit Weasels, she told herself. Much of what she read didn’t make sense. I knew I needed Father to help me understand this, she thought. But as she read on, a peace and comfort covered her like a warm blanket. She rested her head on the book and fell asleep.

When a gorgeous new day dawned, Jess awoke and looked forward to making significant progress in her travels. She remembered the evil forest creatures. Her fear was quickly chased away by her resolve not to be trapped by them.

Late in the morning, dark clouds moved in, and suddenly Jess found herself in a downpour. She ran under a rocky ledge for shelter. As the rain let up, she decided to continue on. “If I let every raindrop stop me, I will never get to the castle,” she reasoned.

The terrain turned rocky and gradually steepened. She didn’t see the slippery rock her foot landed on, and down she went.

“Ick! My dress is soaked . . . and muddy.” She stood up and pushed her wet hair out of her face. “Ugh. My hands are muddy too. I’m a mess.”

There was no stream to wash in, but Jess did her best to get most of the mud off. “I’m not letting a little mud slow me down,” she said, continuing on her journey. “Father told me to get there, no matter what.”

Jess made great progress. Toward twilight she came upon a green meadow with a little brook in the distance. “Fresh water!” she exclaimed. “What a lovely place to camp!” Excitedly she ran toward the brook . . . and right into a very deep hole in the path, one that had been camouflaged with underbrush and a thin layer of dirt and grass.

Struggling out of the hole, she heard skittering and snickering. From the dark cover of the forest, many pairs of eyes gleamed at her. Pit Weasels! Terrified, she cried out, “Oh, Father!” She searched frantically for her satchel. “Oh, what shall I do!” She had no other weapon. How she wished for her father!

Out skittered the Pit Weasels, snickering as they scurried toward her. Suddenly, they looked toward the sky, stopped, and ran squealing back into the underbrush.

What? Jess followed their gaze . . . High overhead a lone falcon circled. Greatly relieved, she climbed out of the hole, thankful for the raptor’s presence.

Do you ever feel like Jess—not ready for what life brings, slipping into mess after mess, falling for traps others set for you? Jess has much going for her. She was raised well, she has the book of wisdom from which her father taught her, and an exciting future waits for her. However, despite these benefits, she is not doing well on her journey.

Maybe you feel you don’t have any of Jess’s assets. Maybe you didn’t have a loving, caring family. Maybe you have never been taught wisdom or life skills. Maybe you were told you’d never amount to much, so you don’t expect much. If any of this is true, my heart aches for you, and at the same time, I’m thrilled for you! Because no matter where you have come from or what lies you were told, you are loved and cared for by your Father in Heaven. “‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Or maybe, like Jess, you have much going for you—but you still aren’t living a rich life. You feel stuck. You are ricocheting through life, hoping that someday you will stop and make changes to really live to the fullest. But someday hasn’t come.

Now is the time. Let’s journey with Jess and learn the truths that will make a difference. We’ll apply those truths to our everyday lives together. Living in the reality of truth is what enables us to find the fabulous in every day. That is a promise our Savior gave us: “The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)” (John 10:10, AMP).

Why We Stumble

I believe women stumble into several common mud holes and traps. Since we are relational, we often follow each other into the messes. But if we know the truth about who we are, whose we are, who God is, and the rich life God has for us, we will be prepared to avoid these traps. Our lives don’t have to be one regret or frustration after another! Who Are You?

The first reason we fall into mud holes and traps is that we don’t know who we are. We don’t value ourselves as made in the image of our Father. We believe our worth depends on the checkbook balance, our careers, parenting success, or a Pilates-sculpted body. Throughout our lives we have absorbed lies about ourselves—that we are untalented, unintelligent, irritating, unattractive, too skinny, too fat, unpopular, and ultimately unworthy.

Maybe you’ve made poor choices that contributed to the list of lies you now believe, so because of your past and present, you feel like a failure and the worst of sinners. And because your past is fact, it must be the truth of who you are. Right? Wrong. Remember Jeremiah 29:11 used words like plans, prosper, and hope. That verse is full of promise for the future. We are not victims of our past, whether we chose it or not. Our Lord has plans for us. Our part is to get on track with him and get going in his direction.

Another important factor contributing to knowing who we are is the insecurity we battle. I have never met an adult woman who doesn’t struggle with insecurity on some level. Our insecurities take control of our intelligent minds and convince us to believe lies about ourselves, which in turn affect our decisions and actions. We see the results of this in our relationships. We worry about what other women are thinking about us.

Did I say the wrong thing?

Did I wear the wrong thing?

Why didn’t I get invited?

Did I handle that well?

Did I offend her?

Our insecurities and poor self-image cause us to falter. To fit in and be accepted, we try to be someone we are not. Self-doubt consumes us. Under the influence of our insecurities, we do and say things that might have been expected when we were younger. A young wife once shared with me how she enjoyed meeting with her girlfriends from high school for an evening of Bunco . . . until their conversation quickly turned into a discussion she knew she shouldn’t be part of.

We all enjoy friends—it’s the way God wired us. Nothing hurts more than to be left out or ignored. We assume we are the problem, and we doubt our value as a person and friend. Please don’t wallow any longer in the lies whispered by insecurity. Keep reading, and you will see how loved you are.